Life as we know it, is a wheel within a wheel,
never ending or beginning like a piece of orange peel,
and if this makes no sense or has no rhyme or reason,
and you don’t know an apiary is what you keep bees in,
then you should quit while you’re behind and settle for less
and acquiesce that your life is probably a mess.
My take on life has the smell of finest hide
Not the shit from Jeromes, glued on and dyed
1. It’s a cream tea served on a wonky three legged table on a Sunday afternoon by a little old lady smelling of moth balls, her osteoporosis giving her the perfect lean to pour.
2. It’s a complimentary moist lemon scented cleansing wipette presented to you in Business Class while the proletariat suffer by having to wipe their hands on their trousers.
3. It’s the soft rain of dust that falls into a shaft of light as you reach for an old book on the top shelf of a run down bookstore in Portland, and it falls into your hand revealing it’s a first edition of “Motherfucking Sharks” by Brian Allen Carr.
4. It’s a pinata that won’t break open because you filled it with concrete and the children have all suffered concussive fractures in both arms.
5. It’s the warm wet feel of a leaking diaper that hides the murky secret of a number 2.
6. It’s the furry growth on the upper lip of an old Greek woman as she sits outside her whitewashed home weaving a sweater on a spinning jenny, while surrounded by Luddites.
7. It’s the long dingleberry your dog gets when he eats grass and you have to pull it out like a magician pulls handkerchiefs from their sleeve.
8. It’s the day you realize that not drying your feet properly has caused trenchfoot and on top of that you have gout, and you will have to stop eating steak and only allow yourself one beer a week.
9. It’s the guy on the subway, his legs so far apart he may be giving birth, but really his testicles live in 2 different zip codes.
10. It’s removing your socks after a long hike and thinking how did that Stinking Bishop cheese get into your shoe before realizing you haven’t washed your feet for a week because you’re a man.
11. It’s listening to George Harrison’s album All Things Must Pass and then realizing you swallowed your grandad’s dentures when you were 3 yrs old, and that certainly isn’t true.
12. It’s the thing that comes before death.